Period Started

My period started Monday. It was much more manageable than I thought it would be. I am back on the pill and will stay on it until the FET in Jan/Feb/Mar. We will just do the FET when it feels right and when our schedule allows.

To be fair to our one little blast, he was frozen as an expanding "excellent-excellent". It's wrong of me not to have some amount of faith in him.

Happy Thanksgiving all.

Thank You Fellow Bloggers

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement.

I am totally shocked by this outcome. For TWO YEARS I have been working on Ivan to do this...telling him about the wonderful odds in our favor. Admittedly, I feel like a bit of a fool for investing so much money, time and emotion into something that failed. I know we have our one blast on ice but at this point I have zero faith in a BFP.

Ivan has been wonderful. He isn't worried about the money but more worried about me handling the BFN. I am okay today but when the hormones start to go wonky before my period I will be a mess no doubt!

We will muddle through enjoy the holidays and do an FET after my January period.

I will check in on everyone now and then to see how everyone is doing. Sending warm wishes to all.

It's a No Go

Beta Negative.

Will do an FET with the ONE BLAST in January or February.

Negative Pee Stick

The dream is "over".

I peed on a stick this morning and it came back negative. Tomorrow is the blood test so it should have been positive today.

Not much to say about it. That $20k sure did go fast!

Yes, we have one blast on ice but there is NO WAY it will work if the two fresh ones didn't. Honestly, to spare myself the pain, I would rather not even do the frozen transfer.

This donor egg journey has been shitty, quite honestly. The fertilization rate was no better than my old eggs two years ago. And I got pregnant with my old eggs!

Just took a Pre*vacid so I can try and eat.

OMG.

I can't eat anything without getting nauseated. Popping Tums like it's candy. Someone please tell me what morning sickness IS? Are you sick any time you eat? Doesn't eating make it better?

I am so sick.

Cycle Day 26

* Temp 99.6 (it is staying slightly elevated)

* Mild headache

* Second night in a row could not sleep due to extreme nausea. Had to get up and eat crackers at midnight which calmed my stomach and I was able to fall asleep. I have never had *that* level of nausea that called FOR food. This was "OMG I have a stomach bug" kind of nausea.

* PIO was extremely painful this morning...Ivan hit a nerve or something. Horrible constant burning...like my face is cringing from the pain.

Cycle Day 25

Weekend issues:

* gag feeling in back of throat (happened two years ago with IVF, BFP, M/C)
starts early morning and lasts all afternoon.
* BB's swollen and sore
* elevated temp of 100.6 (flu?)
* eyes are burning with each blink (allergy? cold? flu?)
* noticeable slight lower back discomfort yesterday

Not much going on, really. The "gag" feeling in the back of the throat yesterday was really significant. Eating did not make it go away yesterday.

I don't know if an elevated temp is normal for early pregnancy. I am guessing that over 100 means illness.

Day 6 P3DT (Cycle Day 23, 9DPO)

Tired. Hungry. Enlarged, sore BB's. All potential PIO symptoms.

I woke to cramping in the middle of the night last night. There was also some "pinching" in my pelvis. It lasted a few minutes and then stopped. I had middle of the night cramping with my last IVF and got a BFP (miscarriage). It's common to have implantation cramping on day 8 or 9 post ovulation. However, I have had middle of the night cramping just out of the blue (when not TTC) so it's not a sure sign. Our uteruses are huge muscles and sometimes they cramp, plain and simple!

Hoping for more definite symptoms this weekend.

Test is Wednesday morning next week.