Tomorrow

Weds at 8:30 my favorite phlebotomist will draw blood from my stellar right arm vein. Hopefully by 2 or 3 I will hear back from the nurse. REnurse whom I love is on vacation.

Friends, I have never had "the call". My results have always ended with a period. I really, really don't want to get the call. If they could call Ivan instead I would have them call him. But he will be at work and that's not the best place to find out. I told him not to call me b/c I don't want to tell him either way while he is at work.

This morning's PIO was hell. I was standing and was "relaxing" my hip in preparation for the injection. Because I was off-kilter, Ivan's measuring was off. The injection went way too high...it hit in the area where your buttocks thin out and turn into lower back. It hurt...HURT! During and after. My leg has been aching all day. I stood there afterward and everything was going dark and I was losing my hearing. I exclaimed, "I'm going to pass out!" and rushed to the bed. I have been light-headed all day. So, that was one more kick to the stomach after an already long journey. I mean not just this IVF but the journey getting here...we took a break to raise two beautiful, smart daughters along the way...but this journey has been twelve years in the making for us.

Well, if the result is negative, I won't be crushed...disappointed, really disappointed...but not crushed. It would be like traveling across Europe to your favorite theme park only to find it was closed for renovations when you finally got there! You walk away from the padlocked gate with your health and your wonderful family but you sure were looking forward to that monster roller coaster beyond the locked entrance!

Me and my half-eaten bun are hoping to climb on board the roller coaster tomorrow.