Thursday, May 17, 2007

In a holding pattern

Hello neglected blogdom.

A few of you have checked in and I am so sorry to have been away for so long. You are thoughtful to be looking in on us here in limbo land.

As you know, the ovaries overpowered the Lu*pron...IVF cycle #1 was stopped. Shortly after that little surprise we learned that our good friend with cancer was indeed dying and no longer fighting. We watched her decline for weeks and then she slipped away April 28 while at home with her husband and parents.

Breast. Cancer. Sucks. There are oh-so-many other words I could use but won't in this forum.

She was 44.

Her daughter is 6.

We declined the offer to start up again with a May cycle b/c we knew our friend was dying and did not want to be doing this amidst such sadness. The day of the memorial service I got it all out. In case anyone has ever wondered, it IS possible to cry nonstop for hours at a time. Oh, and if you feel the need to do that much crying, may I suggest adding several glasses of red wine to the mix and voila! you have one heckuva mourning process underway. It had been building up for weeks...the dying process, her death, waiting one week on the memorial...these things had all numbed my emotions...I was 'stuck' between happy and sad. Once it was released, the peaceful healing process had taken over and continues today. Life continues. We move on. IVF treatments start again.

With all of that behind us, this whole thing is still dicey. Ivan is going fishing in Canada in June...smack dab in the middle of when I would be taking Lu*pron injections. Folks, June is IT until school starts (well after school starts, actually, b/c I am on two PTO boards and the whole starting school thing is stressful and busy with open house nights and meetings). Our schedule is so full I often wonder why we are doing this! If we can't "fit in" the cycle, how can we squeeze in the kidlet? ;)

I think I am going to do to a "test" injection (a dry run) next week to see if I can indeed give my own injections b/c if the cycle is gonna happen I am gonna have to get brave REAL quick!

PLEASE give me your advice and remind me that I CAN do this! You brave women do injections all of the time...yes?

Thanks for hanging with me. I hope we are back on track soon.


Sarah said...

you can totally do this! the lupron shots are so easy you hardly even have to pay attention. it might seem complicated at first, but you don't even feel the shot so it's definitely no big deal. i've never even heard of anyone not doing their own sub-Q shots, it's just the ones in the butt (after transfer) that you need help with. you'll do great!!!

Samantha said...

I know the fear of shots, but the SQ ones are straightforward, and with a little ice, usually don't even hurt much. You can do it!

Sara said...

I am so sorry about your friend. Breast cancer does suck. My mother is a 15-year survivor, so we're one of the lucky families, but I will never forget the fear of the diagnosis, the misery of chemotherapy, the fear and pain of surgery, and then the stress of waiting to see what happened next. Let's face it. All cancer really sucks. I really feel for you, and especially for your friend's family.

Regarding the shots, you CAN do it. I was so nervous with the first one that half of it ended up on the outside of my skin, but within a few days, I could have done it in my sleep. It seems like a big deal, but it's actually shocking how NOT a big deal it is when the time comes. Check out Watson's videos for the Infertility Film Festival. They are full of great tips about how to do it.

Good luck hon!

Rachel said...

I am so sorry about your friend. That is such a difficult process to go through. I hope her kid will be okay.

As far as injections go, you can totally do them yourself. It's really scary the first time, but after that, it's not so bad. I've even done a shot in a public bathroom and in a friend's bathroom. You can do it!

Nearlydawn said...

You can absolutly do this!! I am a big-freaking chicken and HATE needles, and yet I can give myself my shots. The lupron shots are pretty darned easy, and you work up from there. They are probably the easiest shots I have EVER had to take.

Give it a go, let us know how it works out!