They just called to verify my order for estro*gen patches and PIO for the mock cycle. Isn't it crazy how excited it makes me that a package of several-inch-long syringes will arrive at my doorstep tomorrow morning? :)
There is so much emotion with this process. The last several nights I have had trouble sleeping. There are so many emotions running through me. The fear that it won't work and SO MUCH MONEY is gone. The fear that it will work and I will miscarry and end up more scarred than I already am by infertility. The fear that a healthy baby will arrive and we will be parenting a newborn in our early 40's. You just can't get away from the anxiety, can you?
I really do *trust* that what ever happens is the path meant for me. If it fails I can at least turn 50 (in a decade) and know that I really tried my best by pulling out all the stops...including 21 year old donor eggs!